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You have ended up here

Click here if you're a fan of my work!

You are not

And yet, inexplicably, you found my website.

What the hell is this?

Did you know the average time spent on a web page is 52 seconds. That means I have wasted at least 52 seconds of your life.

What the hell is this, but answered differently?

I set this up for promotional purposes, but I have nothing to promote.

Credit: BlueSky Images, 'Phil', (taken before any allegations, we are in no way associated with the model)

This is Phil. Phil doesn't mess about, and neither will I from this point onwards.

Here's what this website is really about.

Please follow this link to find out more.

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